“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names”
– John F. Kennedy
Without a single doubt, we all would invariably proclaim we have enemies of some sort. The magnitude of such proclamation is individually based, but in the same vein it occurs to me that many a person often focus on the nonessentials of enemy management.
First of all, you’re all special but none of you is peculiar by having enemies. Or rather, not “having” enemies, but surrounded by enemies. Whatever be the case, the number and nature of your enemies largely depends on you – yes! It starts with you, and most likely ends with you.
The Cascade of Falling Dominoes
The first step is the most important one. Just as the cycle becomes vicious, it takes only the removal of a step in the series to halt the sequence of falling blocks. Let me explain: in management of the enemy, start with the root cause – the first step of the domino cascade.
Another thing however is that the first step is the hardest to identify. Why? Because the enemy is a little reflection of us. It’s easier to look outwards than inwards. Could it be our carriage of self? Was it our unchecked speech? Perhaps our actions were misjudged. Anything! But unless we know the first step and the direction of the falling blocks, how do we even identify what to remove in order to halt the process?
The Most Trivial Question
Majority of cases will have conflicts characterised by much passion but less of reason. It’s not surprising to find out that we often forget the reason for being in a conflict, and focus more on the person. Most of us say we have enemies, but it looks like it’s the other way round.
Something else that is often hidden is the fact that we are not ready to win back the enemy. Most of us will be sad to find out that our supposedly bad enemy has turned a new leaf overnight. Somehow, there seems to be a justification to always keep bad blood. If this is our predisposition, then we have no real enemy – we’re only making them up, or sustaining them, if you like.
The Good, the Bad, and the Thin Blue Line
There are two things to consider. As much as we remember our list of enemies, we most likely would be part of someone else’s list. And it often happens that we fall in more lists than the number of names on our own list. I’m not asking you to elongate your list – it often happens that we know little about the extent of damage we can cause.
The second part is that our enemy almost always says something true about us, even if it’s just a bit. I’m being practical here. If only we we readily look out for subtle signs, we soon realise that enemies are hardly made out of nothing. Trivial as it may be, there’s always some reason why.
Pieces in the End – Mosaic Collection
The good thing about the enemy is the realisation that he/she is passionate about something. Winning him/her over is likened to a flawless victory. Pieces may be left in the end, but that’s where the mosaic art comes in. If all was smooth and fine, your life wouldn’t be unique.
As you win back your enemy, he/she is dead yet alive the more. The man who makes his enemies vulnerable to change, respect him.
Luke O. Ogar