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“We choose what attitudes we have right now. And it’s a continuing choice”
– John C. Maxwell

In everyone lies a disorder: a normal disorder. Behind the apparel of laughter, joy, pomposity, meekness, etc is often a different self known to a privileged few. In no way is this meant to say that all humans are perennial pretenders but rather a make-up of two sides – the one we often see and the insider. But it’s not just the other half, it’s the more important half. Get ready to be acquainted with the “man in charge”, and you’ll be grateful you did. Get ready to embrace your real self.

Single or Not?
Do we have two natures? No. It’s a single story with a twist in the tale. I often hear people advising others to “BE YOURSELF”. How cruel the world would turn out to be! I have to be polite to my superiors even if I despise them – I cannot be myself and disrespect them.

For the fact that I eat carelessly doesn’t mean I’ll do so in public because I’m being myself. It’s not pretence: courtesy demands so. Being yourself is rather a phrase meant for ” BE ORIGINAL”, or something similar. In essence, you often will have to hide your dirty side – nobody wants to be involved with that.

Skin-Deep Perception
The world only knows how much of what we tell them about ourselves. Although we give ourselves away unconsciously in subtle actions throughout the day, we often dictate how much people know about us, and more importantly, how they look at us. Now, there’s a lot on psychology and knowing a person in very little time, but the theories are not as straightforward as they seem.

No matter the sophisticated nature of psychology, criminal minds still roam our streets everyday. It just shows the complexity of the human mind. Talk more of people who often take things at face value. Interestingly, when we look at people, we think we have a full understanding of what their life is about and who they are.

A good example I often remember is the scenario of my father thinking I had a learning difficulty in mathematics, meanwhile I just wasn’t interested in it at that point in time. He often would remind me of the extra difficulty it would take me to pass the exams (O-level). Personally I knew it wasn’t as difficult as he posed it to be. In the end, all was well, but he’d probably still have the notion that I wasn’t good in mathematics.

The Real Pilot
Know thyself! The insider determines what face we show on the outside. It is important to realise that self conviction is more powerful than all the world’s “expert analysis” concerning us. Definitely, we need to improve and get better, but not against good personal beliefs. Eccentric minds may not always be right, but they’re sure to make a difference.

When all the weariness and fatigue pulls down on our visible attitudes, we have something left – the other half, though often obscured. We often see amazing things done by those we’d never think of doing such: it’s because we couldn’t see the other half cooking up something.

No War, Just a Conversation
The dichotomy in attitude makes life interesting, don’t you think? It’s a perfect tussle needing mediation from a good discerning mind. Here’s the advantage: undercover plans are perfectly planned till execution. Many of the “star revelations” in any walk of life have actually been working on their plans for a while.

Here’s the disadvantage: pretence is not too far away. What’s pretence? It’s a way of answering the questions about us before they were asked. In a way, the ability to play two roles for two different audiences.

Meanwhile, my introverted self is refusing to post this online, I’d have no choice other than putting it up. And I wonder why they say I’m quiet. Maybe that’s what I want the world to see…

Luke O. Ogar

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