“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it”
– Mark Twain
I cannot imagine why thou, O Woman, would bear forth so much inconvenience with joy. This is the summary of motherhood; not to say that there is no real joy involved, but to the undiscerning eye, would the cost not be too much to bear? No! Not for the mother.
Children are such a huge blessing, but sons come with an extra price tag. Not to downplay the immense significance of daughters, this epic story intends to dwell more on the clumsy relationship between mothers and their sons. How could loving mothers coexist with often nonchalant males called sons? This tricky relationship involves a lifetime, and comes with its twists and turns. A road travelled by many over millennia, there has never been a boring story.
The Fragile Work of Art
We’d be mistaken to think that the frail nature of the mother is at a grave expense. Why do we even use the word “frail”? I prefer “malleable”. Because the persona of a man is ever changing, we need an “adjustable” mother, and that’s exactly what we have. Sure enough, the sons will be playing catch-up most often, mothers will not just be expectant only in pregnancy, but almost all through the lives of their sons.
The Edge of the Wrapper
The most powerful of men were once helpless babies. In the face of danger, as little children, Mama’s side would be opted for. And sure enough, mothers enjoy the attention and dependence. Although males be a nuisance, we’d prefer a noisy kid to one with apathy. How long will the children remain attached to the wrapper? It depends on the person who ties the wrapper and the one being tied.
Did someone die? No! So, what happened? Well, you see…this little boy is becoming deviant – he hardly listens anymore. A period of dependence followed by a more independent way of life can be saddening (even if a little) for mothers. Only very few mothers would sincerely state that they were not surprised at the manner in which their sons turned “deviant”.
Many times indeed, her tears are for a reasonable cause. Adventure has no bounds or restrictions, and for boys and young boys, they are truly in the face of danger lying ahead. Their outcome is anybody’s guess, but one thing remains for sure: we see your tears, but we must do what we have to do. It’s either she will understand us later, or we’ll understand her later.
The Resistant Strains Called Sons
Until a son makes his first major decision for himself, he will be deemed too young to do so. It would be an anomaly for a mother to anticipate correctly every decision her son will make. Some will amaze her, amuse her, or even scare her.
A good mother knows the limit beyond which she cannot touch into her son’s plans. Not only will a child’s plan be different from his parent’s, it will tend to be better. Therefore, mothers will learn this painful art of letting go. It’s the smartest move she could have played out.
And The Wall Came Tumbling Down
Amidst the care, smiles, and tears, a man would only later come to full term with the immensity of his mother’s impact on his life. A man appreciates the warmth and care, but not the infant; he rejoices over her strictness and discipline, but not the teenager. It is only at this level that we see men loving their mothers so tenderly – a reunion quite unexplainable.
Lay Your Burden: She Breaks Not
It takes a lot to lose a son only to find him again. Blessed pain, eternal reward; there is no substitute for being a mother. I may not trade places with her, but it’s a role I forever admire.
One thing unquestionable is her constancy. I’m embarrassed when she keeps reminding me: “I’m praying for you”, because she reminds me more often than I pray for myself. And I ask: “Does she not have other children? Other needs?” Blessed be every good mother by her children. Her devotion will not only stun her children but bring them to their knees in love.
Luke O. Ogar